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Top 30 Things You'll Never Hear A Southern Boy Say



30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
09. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
07. Checkmate
06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
04. I don't have a favorite college team.
03. You Guys.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!
 

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DEEP IN THE HEART OF DIXIE
When a man in Macon, Ga., came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.
"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog.'"
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut." "In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'." - - -author unknown

Tommy

 

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68sschevyII said:
DEEP IN THE HEART OF DIXIE
When a man in Macon, Ga., came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.
"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog.'"
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut." "In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'." - - -author unknown

Tommy

Hey I saw that story...damn Yankee's...lol......J/K:D

BTW I only live about 20 miles or so from Macon...

Duane (just remember to Canadians ALL Americans are Yankees:eek::D;))
 
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